How are you faring in this hot hot..."did we move closer to the Equator this summer, somehow?"
Not only has it been a hot summer at our house, it has been an anxiety filled one. Britton seized in the pool, and ended up in ICU. Randy and I stayed tied in knots until we knew he was stable. We looked at each other and wondered...
"How will we continue to live from tragedy to tragedy?"
Our last day in ICU, my anxiety was in the stratosphere. I was dealing with my dad's imminent passing. My siblings and I had decided it was time to move dad to hospice only a few days before. Hospice staff told us to expect a week or maybe even several. I was brushing my teeth in that tiny sterile bathroom, and I was praying for my daddy! I have been praying for him, almost like breathing. Daddy could no longer function in this world without our momma.
I truly believe I heard God's voice. Oh, not out loud, or anything so dramatic. It was a voice that was not mine. It was a voice that I recognized. He assured me that He was coming for my daddy that very day. He told me, so I would know He was the one who is in charge of life and death. That all the struggling, and all the angst over losing Britton was unnecessary, He was, is and always would be in control. I had cold chills, and tears rolled and I rushed out of the bathroom, to the surprised look on both Randy and Britton's faces.
"Teresa! What's wrong?"
How do you tell another person that you believe you heard God? How do you convince someone you're serious? I don't know what you would do, but if fools rush in where angels fear to tread...I rushed. I also knew I needed to let my three remaining siblings know, but would they think I was insane? That was a wrestling match that lasted a few hours. Then I asked myself..."How much do you believe the word you heard was from God?" If I said 100%, then I had to be willing to risk speaking that word out loud!
I definitely rushed to share the unbelieveable information with Randy and Britton. I wish I had better words, at least descriptive ones...Because, I wish for you to experience God's presence the way we did as His presence filled the room.
I have no idea why, I have no explanation for His love towards us...I have no clue why He came at that moment. When I reflected back on it, I expect He spends a lot of time in ICU. We heard so many codes called throughout our days there. His presence was so heavy, so thick there was a quiet peace that fell over all three of us. God's presence hugged us, loved us, held us.
Only moments later a phlebotomist came in to do another arterial blood draw. (OUCH!) The woman was high strung and anxious, not having any experience with autism. I explained it all to Britton while she listened. I went to hold his arm down on one side while she drew blood from the other. He frowned at me, and the peace that we all read about, that we are all promised settled over all of us. I removed my hands. I don't truthfully know how I knew, but I knew...God's presence was still so strong, His peace calmed our hearts and minds.
The woman listened as I assured her that Britton has always been an excellent judge of character. That God has gifted him with an amazing discernment. That he would feel the goodness inside her heart and he would cooperate. That he would yield to the love that flowed through who she was.
Can I tell you how insane that was? I'm sure you're thinking the stress had finally sent me over the edge. Cause there was that other voice that kept nagging me in the back of my mind. "So much could go wrong with this! This is INSANE."
Because...Yes it was, except...God really had spoken, and God really was in the room. He kept telling me, assuring me. His presence still permeated the air, I breathed it in and it gave me courage that wasn't mine.
The phlebotomist talked to him, he never even flinched during the drawing of 12 tubes of blood. When she was done, I was compelled to assure her she was indeed worthy in God's eyes. She cried, and hugged me. (Yep in ICU, with all the Covid Crazy!) She said she'd never experienced such love, such a presence of God. We talked about how we don't have to be worthy...how God knew she was the one coming into the room. That He loved her so much, that He picked her to bless in that moment.
It was so special, so precious...I asked God about sharing His presence with other people. How could I do that, unless it rested on me first? But as I prayed, I remembered all of you. I wanted to share this story with you, and then pray that you would feel God's presence in the telling of it. May you feel His love, His guidance, His assurance today. In your day to day life, when things are calm, and even more so when you are at war with difficult circumstances that you have no control over. God is no respector of persons...and He is able, His presence is powerful beyond our wildest imaginations. He loves you and He want to bless you too. '
Oh...and I did tell my siblings, and God did come for my daddy just like He said He would...on that very day. Because He is faithful to us. Take a risk next time you Hear Him... He is Trustworthy, are you?
*Book three The Last Choice is the final stages of editingl Please keep me in your prayers. You're going to love this last story. Book I is being loaded on audible as you read this. What a project. Pray for it's approval soon. God bless you, every one!
"Strong!" Try to make 'em all think I'm strong. Yeah, the face I keep putting on says I ain't tired. But these tear-stained eyes ain't lying. Cause hard, nobody told me life could be so hard. A weary soul with a worn out heart that's barely beating. But every time I get that feeling...I hit my knees with my hands held high, saying "dear lord Jesus! You know I can't do this on my own." I FEEL this song. Way down deep, all the way to my bone marrow. Watching it climb the charts...means that...
Howdy! (I had to say that, I'm from Texas!) I've only met about half of the folks on my email list, face to face. The other half, know me through my books or blogs. If you are wondering how I found you, it was through a contest you entered with Booksweeps. You traded your email address for a chance to win books, and hear about big discounts on books in the future. Like a firm southern handshake, you can count on, I'm keeping my end of the bargain. That's what this email is about...an ebook...
Here I sit in the waiting room. Not the doctor's office, but the waiting space, where I wait for Britton to take a breath. His face tinged blue, his eyes stare at nothing...he's not even gasping. No sign of life...my mind spins the what if's. My heart feels huge, pressing against my throat, choking me as I try to pray. Then, there's that tiny moment, between desperate prayers and no answers that eclipses the tick tock of the clock. The place of waiting, between the nonstop praying and the far...